I can't hold my liquor, would you mind if I held yours? When I'm sure I've had enough, that's how I know I need more It's just the booze talking, and it's speaking Japanese I'm sure you heard me slur my words, could someone come and translate me? Before I got to it, they called it some-cohol I'm sure that I will rue it, but I'll still ruin it all When I'm a solid six drinks in, you'll be a solid ten These beer goggles are prescription 20/20 double-vision It's a brain cell genocide, get me a Hitler on the rocks Wake up on a strangers floor, face covered in sharpie cocks I'm not sure why they call it a liver, because I'm pretty sure mines dead Pick up chicks, get whiskey dick, and say "Fuck it, I'm going to bed." I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk I always forget why I regret it Man, I love being drunk (Breathalize me, Captain!) I'm pretty sure my BAC's higher than my debit balance I can't afford this anymore, I'm still on my parents allowance And even hurricane sandy never saw blackouts like mine Officer, I'm good to drive but I can't walk two straight lines I propose a thousand toasts, I propose a thousand toasts To my sorry, sorry ass, a thousand cheers roll down my throat I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk I always forget why I regret it Man, I love being drunk Fuck, shit! God, grant me the serenity and the courage to chase it down Cause I heard my higher powers gonna buy us the next round I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk I always forget why I regret it Man, I love being drunk Oh Lord, I said Man, I love being drunk Oh my god! Man, I love being drunk