Liberace, I can see, you'll agree, he's unique
But this pompous git, must admit, thinks he's it, he's a freak
Ballade Pour Adeline's a disgrace
Steal his score coz he's a waste of space
Smash his smarmy, smash his smarmy face
Richard Clayderman's a creep
Richard, all the women wail and weep
Richard, Richard makes grannies gulp and blush
French blonde knob, he ain't no Bobby Crush
He never fails, with his scales, that the dames can't resist
But why all the fuss, for a dumb, hideous pianist
Oh that snotty old hat
Don't wanna see that piano prat's eyes of blue
Why's he, constantly, cocky smug and slimy?
And every single time he smiles, he makes me spew
