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Brown shoes don't make it
Brown shoes don't make it 
Quit school, why fake it? 
Brown shoes don't make it? 
TV dinner by the pool 
Watch your brother grow a beard 
Got another year of school 
You're OK, he's too weird 
Be a plumber He's a bummer 
He's a bummer every summer 
Be a loyal plastic robot 
For a world that doesn't care 
Smile at every ugly 
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair 
Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work 
Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work 
Do your job, and do it right 
Life's a ball! (TV tonight!) 
Do you love it, do you hate it? 
There it is, the way you made it (WOOOooow) 

A world of secret hungers, 
Perverting the men who make your laws 
Every desire is hidden away, 
In drawer, in a desk, 
By a Naughahyde chair 
On a rug where they walk and drool 
Past the girls in the office 

You see in the back, of the City Hall mind 
The dream of a girl about thirteen 
Off with her clothes and into a bed, 
Where she tickles his fancy all night long 

His wife's attending an orchid show 
She squealed for a week to get him to go 
But back in the bed his teenage Queen 
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene 
Baby! Baby! Baby! Baby! 

And he loves it! He loves it! It curls up his toes! 
She bites his fat neck, And it lights up his nose, 
But he cannot be fooled, Old City Hall Fred, 
She's nasty, she's nasty, She digs it in bed! 

Do it again, and do it some more! 
That does it, by golly, it's nasty for sure! 
Nasty-nasty-nasty! Nasty-nasty-nasty! 
(Only thirteen, and she knows how to NASTY) 

She's a dirty young mind. Corrupted, corroded... 
Well she's thirteen today, And I hear she gets loaded 

If she were my daughter I'd... 
What would you do, Daddy? 
If she were my daughter I'd... 
What would you do, Daddy? 
If she were my daughter I'd... 
What would you do, Daddy? 
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup, 
And strap her on again, Oh baby! 
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup, 
And strap her on again! 
She's a Teenage Baby, and she turns me on, 
I'd like to make Her do a nasty 
On the White House Lawn! 
Going to smother that daughter in chocolate syrup, 
And boogie till the cows come home! 

Time to go home, Madge is on the phone 
Gotta meet the Guerneys And a dozen gray attorneys 
TV dinner by the pool I'm so glad I finished school 
Life is such a ball I run the world from City Hall