Who's the guy with all the tests? He's Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! A white lab jacket, a hypodermic Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! He doesn't care if you're alive or dead He'll perform an analysis of your head Find out if you've bleached your hair Try and fool him if you dare, he's Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Oh yeah! Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Was that dead guy poisoned or stabbed, just ask Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Was his scar caused by a fork, just ask Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! He knows all of the spectrographic analyser Blood count, sperm count, hemoglobin level He knows how many hairs are on your head He knows when the coffee's ready, he's Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Oh yeah! Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Where would television be without him? Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! There's nobody else who's earned our trust except for Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Although he deserves, he never gets top-billed Only gets the girl if she's been killed Always the bridesmaid, never the bride Poor Sam's only along for the ride, he's Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Oh yeah! Sam, the guy from "Quincy"! Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop Bop-shoo-wop, bop-bop-shoo-wop He's Sam!