The ApprentEHHH (*cough, cough) Donald Trump: Now Carolla, Why did ya team lose? Carolla: Now hold on a second and by the way... We interrupt this program for Obama to say something Obama: my fellow Americans, I'd like to announce that I'm running for uh, President of America. As a black man this time... I did some time in Jail, I did a crime with Michelle We stole from fried watermelon Yip Yippity Ki Yay I'm known to smack up a bitch I got Kool-Aid in the fridge I never met my kids Their real dad is Kanye Guns yeah I sold em Hoes tricks yeah I told em Blunts, Spliffs, yeah I rolled em Chronic nugs of homegrown K.B. Hey I just mey you (Ahhh Help!) No please don't tase me I was born in Haiti I still get food stamps I'm just Lazy I'm still on welfare So f**k you pay me They Might Arrest you But you could blame me They'll pull me over Incarcerate me If I get unemployed Shit don't phase me I roll with Jay-Z Jay-Z, Jee, Jeezer? Are you young Jeezer? How'd you get in the White House? I smoke a lot of Newports I sit a lot on the porch I stole 2012 Porsche From my Neighbors Driveway I did alotta of drug deals I killed Osama for Treals I blamed it on Navy SEALS And f**ked his bitch sideways Bro, yeah I'm holdin' Rocks Weed Meth Heroin White House garden showin' What you think I'm growin' Daisies? Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!) No It's OK see I'm half Kuwaiti It's Hard to look White Robbing Macy's Give me the FUBU Don't try to play me Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!) No please don't mace me I dance like Swayze If you live in Detroit Yawta Thank me I'm Pakistani Before I came in the White House I used to smoke crack I used to sold crack I used to roll so black I was born in Dubai I'd like to go back Where's all my hoes at? Take off your clothes And don't talk back Now the American people Have a clear choice WOuld you like to be smacked With a pimp cane? Or with the Back of my hand? It's hard to look white WHen I'm Smackin' Ladies So it's no wonder Ya'll crackers hate me Hey I just met you (AHHH Help!) And this is crazy I stealed your Hummer And throwed your baby Sandusky touched a boy Or so they say see Chicken is tasty Before I came in the WHite House I used to smoke crack I use to sold crack I use to roll so black If all you haters don't like me Lick my ballsack Ya'll haters fall back So f**k you pay me I mean do we really need another black guy on unemplyment Right now? I'm sorry I get that from my mother She is a Typical white person