Well I had a dream and in it I was teaching cave people
how to use blenders and toasters. I drive up to the
cave in my car. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey. In my car.
And there they are banging their heads against the
walls of the cave. And I say: Hey folks! Listen, you're
doing it the hard way. Lemme show you a thing or two.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Well I was trying to think of something to tell you
about myself, and I came across this brochure they're
handing out in the lobby. And it says everything I
wanted to say--only better.
It says: Laurie Anderson, in her epic performance of
United States Parts 1 through 4, has been baffling
audiences for years with her special blend of music ...
slides ... films ... tapes ... films (did I say films?)
... hand gestures and more. Hey hey hey hey hey hey
hey! (Much more.)
Let's take a look around the stage at what we like to
call The System--i.e., the highly sophisticated (very
expensive) state-of-the-art gadgetry with which I cast
Now let me tell you something: this stuff does not grow
Well I was out in L.A. recently on music business, and
I was just sitting there in the office filling them in
on some of my goals.
And I said: Listen, I've got a vision. I see myself as
part of a long tradition of American humor. You know--
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd,
Roadrunner, Yosemite Sam.
And they said; "Well actually, we had something a
little more adult in mind."
And I said: "OK! OK! Listen, I can adapt!"
Lucy I'm home. Lucy, I'm home!
LUCY? I'm home!!
I wonder what happened to her?