One, two, one, two, go I need some help Finding the straps of my boots Well, they evicted my flip-flops And my Birkenstocks won't do Well, did a man-made famine and shut the factory down? I know it's bad in Bangladesh, but I hate this town I need some help Finding the straps of my boots I need some boots with straps I'm ditching the sandals I need heavy equipment I need two with handles Give a hoot Show me the straps of my boots They on the front or the back? Mine are men's, don't it matter, too? They raised the rent on my socks But my callouses are getting grue Well, inflation blew up everything but my ties Man, I'd overdraft the bank But the card's expired I need some help Finding the straps of my boots I need some boots with straps I'm ditching the sandals I need heavy equipment I need two with handles Give a hoot Show me the straps of my boots Did they get blown off in a storm? A negligent pontoon Well I heard somebody say That my Crocs weren't really shoes Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil I've just had a long day And I hate the Eagles Now I'm running down the road Lookin' for the straps of my boots I need some boots with straps I'm ditching the sandals I need heavy equipment I need two with handles Give a hoot Show me the straps of my boots Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil I've just had a long day And I hate the Eagles Now I'm running down the road Lookin' for the straps of my boots Oh, I need some boots with straps I'm ditching the sandals I need heavy equipment I need two with handles Give a hoot And show me the straps of my boots