The hell?
Story, story, what's your story?
Story, story, what's your crime?
What got you here?
Rage, lust, or fear?
We all got a story 'cause we're doing time
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Tell your story
Ra ta ta
Um. OK, fine
My boyfriend had meth in the glove compartment of our car and I got pulled over for something else and a cop found it
Ooh! Well, did you dump that good-for-nothing drug planting boyfriend!
No, we're still together. I love him
Oh. Well, did you at least tell the cops that it was his meth?
I mean, I could have turned him in, but my boyfriend and I have a son. I can't risk our child having both parents in jail
That's true. That's a good point
Story, story, let's hear another story
Story, story, that one was just sad
What does your story say
About the patriarch-ay?
We all have got stories 'cause we did bad
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Okay! I stole a sweater from the mall
Ooh! Had you been stealing all your life?! Was this the culmination of a life of kleptomania? Or were you doing it to stick it to the problematic fashion industry?
No, the heat went out in my apartment and I couldn't afford a sweater, so I stole one
Oh my God, I stole a sweater too! I got two months, how long are you in for?
Three years
I'm so sorry
Story, story, these are barely stories
They're just bleak anecdotes with no start or end
Go tell your story
Sure, I have a story. I'm in here for murder
Ooh! Murder! Juicy! Ra ta ta
While I was driving, my daughter texted me that she was in the hospital and I got so distracted that I hit a teenager who was crossing the street and he died
Story, story, oh my God with that story
Story, story, take away her chair
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna share my story, because you guys aren't really versed with a sense of story structure, so I'm gonna show you how it's done
I was a no-good, manipulative love addict with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. I swindled! DRUM! I cheated! DRUM! I put out a hit on my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend! DRUM DRUM! Then, one day, this guy Trent came into my life. He was ironically just like me. And he tried to kill the man I love, so I pushed him off a building! And then, when I plead guilty just for like, metaphorical symbolism, the judge knew I was innocent so she didn't accept my plea but I wanted to go to jail anyway
Wait, what?
You don't have to be here?
You chose to be here?
Yeah
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
