Grab my face
As hard as it's funny to you
While I pretend
I'm your real dad

"How is Anne's cough today, Ms. Sheryl?"
I pretend to ask
A daughter who I bug
And can only stand to be around me for about thirty seconds
But whose picture I wear
In a pin inside my coat

"So, who is this picture?"
"That's you, Anne"
"You're not coming to my birthday"
"Oh, I know"