Bartender
Pour me some dark liquor
Had a hell of day
And I couldn't hit the bar quicker
It's unhealthy
My friends try to help me
But I'd rather listen to
What Jim, Jack, and Jose tell me
Give me that one, and that one
And that one too
Fourty, fifty, a hundred proof
All the pressures of society
Givin' me anxiety
Sobriety just won't do

So give me all
Your alcohol
Tequila and lime
Whiskey on ice
And every one of my problems is solved
Give me all
Your alcohol
A little bourbon and rye
Until the barrel's dry
And Imma worry bout' the heartache tomorrow
So give me all all all
Your alcohol

Bartender
My broken heart mender
Don't worry about my tab
Imma max-out-the-card spender
I'm not cryin'
I promise I'm not cryin'
I'm allergic to B.S.
And I cure it with shot buyin'
For you, and for you
And for you, and you
Forty, fifty, a hundred proof
I needed some variety
Hole in the wall psychiatry
Sobriety just won't do

So give me all
Your alcohol
Tequila and lime
Whiskey on ice
And everyone of my problems is solved
Give me all
Your alcohol
Lil' bourbon and rye
Until the barrel's dry
And Imma worry bout' the heartache tomorrow
So give me all all all
Your alcohol

Open wide and say
Alcohol
Open wide and say
Alcohol
Everybody say
Alcohol
Open wide and say
Alcohol

So give me all
Your alcohol
Tequila and lime
Whiskey on ice
And every one of my problems is solved
Give me all
Your alcohol
Lil' bourbon and rye
Until the barrel's dry
And Imma worry bout' the heartache tomorrow
Give me all all all
Your alcohol

Give me all all all 
Your alcohol