It's Wednesday, April 2, 1997, at 12:00 PM 
I took a Greyhound bus to Des Moines, Iowa 
It was a six-hour profanity demon hell ride 

At 6:00 PM, the Greyhound bus 
Arrived at the Des Moines bus station 
Two of my music fans picked me up 
And drove me to Fort Dodge, Iowa 

Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 

At 2:00 PM on Friday, April 4, 1997 
I went on a radio show joyride 
I whipped out my Technics KN3000 keyboard 
And sung four rock songs on 88.1 KICB 

At 6:30 PM, I rode with my friends 
To Knights of Columbus for sound checking 
At 9:30 PM, I got up on stage and sung 
Twenty rock songs in front of 200 rock fans 

Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 

At 11:20 AM on Saturday, April 5, 1997 
I caught the Greyhound bus to Chicago, Illinois 
The Greyhound bus left Des Moines, Iowa at 11:30 AM 
It was an eight-hour profanity demon hell ride without 
music 

At 7:30 PM, the Greyhound bus 
Arrived at the Chicago bus station 
I then got off the intercity bus 
And yelled like a stupid fool 

Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 
Hell greyhound bus ride 

Kinkos, it's the new way to office