Forty something years old, can't believe I got here
So many reasons why I should be fuckin' not here
So many memories, most of 'em not clear
So many nights drunk driving went and got beer
At 1:55 tryna race against the clock
Running stop signs doing 80 down the block
I probably should be paralyzed, dead, or in jail
The fact I'm free and walking is a head vs. a tail
I shoulda seized opportunities that I squandered
Shoulda been focused instead my mind wandered
Depressed and aloof is what the booze made me
Suicidal thoughts in my mind they would plague me
I'm glad I lasted long enough to change my ways
Lotta people I knew they can't say that phrase
I walked on a tight rope as best as I could
Now I'm good
Fuck, I jinxed it... knock on wood
Uh
All the shit I used to do
Can't believe I made it through
All the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today
I'm glad I'm a musician
Not a politician
So I can say I'm sorry without everybody bitchin'
Some of my old lyrics, I be cringing while I'm listening
Wondering why the shit is so damn misogynistic
Calling women bitches like a million times a minute
Makes me not wanna hear the rest and just skip it
Maybe it'd be different if I was actually pimpin'
But I wasn't I was sitting at my house alone drinkin'
Words that would slander other peoples' way of living
An old idiotic homophobic way of thinking
A weak fella tryna portray a strong image
A mask of masculinity to hide who the true bitch is
When people seek forgiveness it don't make me upset
I said some shit this morning I already regret
There's nothing set in stone but a stone
I don't say "I've stuck to my guns" I say "I've learned and I've grown"
All the shit I used to do
Can't believe I made it through
All the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today
(Play some funky shit I gotta urinate)
My life will be ending soon
They say your body is a temple, mine's the temple of impending doom
My back, my knees, but mostly my shoulder
They all fall apart and go to shit as I get older
I used to skateboard and my mind plays tricks on me
I skateboard now and think I still got the tricks in me
Muscle memory I see it so vividly
I can do it mentally, but can't do it physically
I used to agile, now I'm fragile
Went from athletic to decrepit and pathetic
I used to be free and wild, soon I'll be senile
At the senior citizens' center trying to freestyle
Spitting on the nurse while I'm sittin' on a bedpan
Telling her "you know lady I was once signed to Def Jam"
Tumors abound when I get my head scanned
Then, I'm a dead man
Damn
All the shit I used to do
Can't believe I made it through
All the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today
Aw shit
