So you think you're bad with your rap Well, I'll tell ya, pilgrim, I started the crap When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Sure, I rustled some cattle and tended the sheep But my main concern was rapping to the beat I don't bother nobody; I'm a real nice guy, kinda Laid back like a dead fly Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I'm talkin' here and now Later for the cattle and rustlin' the cow If I had a chance to do a repeat You can bet your sweet dippy I'd be rappin' to the beat Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Que pasa amigos? Nada pasa, I see Two hundred punks, well, what ya gonna do? I got two six shooters that'll see me through That's twelve dead And a hundred-and-eighty-eight pallbearers Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha What I do on your grave won't pass for flowers either Now Kurtis Blow, Run-D.M.C You haven't heard a rap til ya heard it from me I'm the baddest rapper in history And there'll be no more after me Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Meanwhile, back at the ranch Santa Barbara, that is Swimmin' pools and movie stars Well, the first thing ya know, ol' Ron's the President The kinfolk said, "Ron, move away from there" Said, "In The White House is where you wanna be" So he loaded up the Lincoln, and he moved to D.C Washington, that is Politicians taking a sip Foreign dignitaries taking a trip High tax and plenty Cadillacs Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Now ya see me in my movies, doin' my thing But deep in my heart, I've wanted to sing "Way down upon The Swanee River Far Far away Titwillow, titwillow Titwillow" I don't think that's your style But I'll tell ya, pilgrim, I'm versatile Aretha Franklin, Aretha Franklin Aretha Franklin, let me rock ya, let me rock Aretha Franklin Let me rock Aretha Franklin, that's all I wanna do Aretha Franklin Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Oh, I'm feelin' the groove now, pilgrim Party over here Party over there There's nothin' to it, the way we do it Woop, woop East coast West coast Texas Every time I put on pants I tell ya pilgrim I wanna dance I put a quarter in the juke' Then I commence to doin' the Duke Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha It's pretty easy, as you can see Just move your arms kinda freely Do a pause, and take a step And just make sure the beat is kept Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat Tryin' to cool off from the desert heat I discovered something really neat The Duke has moves with his feet Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha I won plenty of ladies with my charms But they like me the most for the moves of my arms Woah Woah I'm gonna rap in the East Gonna rap in the West I'll show ya, pilgrim, who's the best Nothin' to it, the way we do it Skiddely-be-bop, we-bop, Scooby-Doo Guess what, America? We love you Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, everybody Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Duh-ha, duh-ha Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha