Dagburn Dagburn, dagburn, dagburn The people in my town and Wendy's are mean Every time I walk in they're gobblin' at me And I know the fuckin' mayor got you to do it for free And Upchurch drove here all the way from Tennessee It's early in the mornin' and I'm climbin' a tree Just to watch the police while they're drivin' down the street Then the neighbor called the damn 5-0 on me 'Cause I'm yellin' so loud on my iPhone 3 I said, "F U, Paintsville, Kentucky" The cops, the mayor, they're all tryin' to fuck me And John Holbrook sent me a lawbook Warrant for me? Then you're gonna have to come look F U, Paintsville, Kentucky Dagburn F U, Paintsville, Kentucky Dagburn I was higher than a astronaut When I was arguin' with Mike Endicott Zach Davison ain't a cop (He ain't?) He was last week, but now he's not (Why's that?) Prolly 'cause I figured out the mystery of them (Yep) Conspirin' on me with Illuminati at the gym (Yep) I pulled up in the Rodeo and acted like a bitch And I pulled out my iPhone and I wiggled all my tits It said, "F U, Paintsville, Kentucky" The cops, the mayor, they're all tryin' to fuck me And John Holbrook gave me a lawbook Warrant for me? Then you're gonna have to come look F U, Paintsville, Kentucky Dagburn F U, Paintsville, Kentucky Dagburn Mike Twelvepoint don't live 'round here Mike Twelvepoint ain't even a real deer (He ain't) Mike Twelvepoint ain't no mayor Mike Twelvepoint is a pussy-slayer (Oh, wait, no he ain't) (Hey, delete that last line) F U, Paintsville, Kentucky The cops, the mayor, they're all... they're all... I'm offbeat, they're all tryin' to fuck me, it's all their fault Uh It's Paintsville's fault It's Paintsville's fault It's Paintsville's fault The citizens and the cops F U, Paintsville Dagburn Dang ol' You can cry me another one