''I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one smiling face on Earth. (Abraham Lincoln, letter to John T. Stuart, January 1841)'' Everything makes me nervous and nothing feels good for no reason Waking up, it's rarely worth it - the same dark dread every morning Senior year here in Mahwah, a new world just around the corner Leave me behind, let me stagnate, in a fortress of solitude Smoking's been okay so far, but I need something that works faster So all I want for Christmas is no feelings, no feelings now and never again There is a faceplate all brown and red that stretches across my mouth It's worn for protection, nobody gets in and nobody gets out I used to look myself in the mirror at the end of every day But I took the one thing that made me beautiful and threw it away I was a river, I was a tall tree, I was a volcano But now I'm asleep on top of a mountain, I've been covered in snow Yes, I have surrendered what made me human and all that I thought was true So now there's a robot that lives in my brain and he tells me what to do And I can do nothing without his permission or (which) wasn't part of the plan So now in Rock Ridge pharmacy I will be waiting for my man But there is another down in a dungeon who never gave up the fight And he'll be forever screaming, sometimes I hear him say, on a quiet night, he says "You will always be a loser, man. You'll always be a loser now, and that's okay."