[Verse 1]
"There's seven different movies
At the city multiplex
Let's both not go to school today
And give the brain a rest
You can't say missing one day
Could be taken seriously
You can be sure that no-one will tell
Either families"
She thought about it for a while
Let go her old school bag
"Okay," she told him, "I'm with you"
Both teachers said, "Let's wag"
That day Constable Harrison
Was browsing city streets
He walked along commandingly
Up and down Swanston Street
A skateboarding kid flew right down
The railings of St Paul's
"Filthy move," said Con. Harrison
"But hold on, duty calls"
He walked right into Brash's
And walked out suspiciously
"Here," he told the skateboarding kid
"Just flogged you this CD"
The kid just pushed his dreadlocks back
And looked up in surprise
All he saw was a drug-crazed stare
Deep in the policeman's eyes
"I'm disappointed in you, dude"
The skater told the cop
"If we all had your attitude
It would be just great – not!
I'm gonna let you off this once
But just you look out, son
Next time I'll call the cops, my boy"
"Like I care," said Harrison
Harrison at the city looked
These were the real clean streets
Gangs of polite teenagers
Played rap songs like "Help Da Police"
The new gardens were growing
Where the casino once stood
The trains, they ran bang-smack on time
And people thought they would
Husbands sat in discrete cafes
And flirted with their wives
"I'll give you head," all girlfriends said
"Don't worry," said the guys
[Chorus]
Opposite day
Opposite day
Opposite day
[Verse 2]
Harrison saw the teachers both
And said, "Shouldn't you be at school?"
"Yeah, that's right, cop," the teachers said
And Harrison said, "Cool"
"Got any dope?" the policeman asked
And then he looked disgusted
'Cause both teachers admitted, "Nope"
That's right, folks, they're busted
"I'm taking a dim view of this"
The teachers' faces paled
They wouldn't have been in trouble
With a cop from New South Wales
"I'm taking you back home right now
Don't dare not call me pig
And you can explain why you were caught
Drug-free to your kids"
I hope this is a lesson
That all of you understand
Wag school and the next thing you know
You're in a paddy van
You can imagine, I suppose
The scene in the kitchen
The teenage sons and daughters weep
The teachers think, "Bitchin'"
What's become of our social state
When it has come to this?
A teenage child just can't control
Their folks' rebelliousness?
Later that night, the youngest child
Sat reading in her bed
"Don't stay up late," she told her mum
And to herself, she said
"I've heard that once in primary school
They had Opposite Day
Where what you said and what you meant
Both went two different ways
So if you liked someone, you said
'I think you really suck'
And then said, "On Opposite Day!"
That meant they were in luck
But imagine if this happened
Not just in primary school
And everywhere and everyone
Followed this kiddie rule
Imagine an opposite world
Though it is hard to do
Newspapers for illiterates
Leaders say untruths
The best people this world ignores
While the brats it coddles
Rockstars are seen as serious
Also supermodels
In this world, the actors
Would be treated as if they're kings
And ordinary folks would just be like
Anonymous nothings
The little girl put down her book
And rest her sleepy head
"But that world could never exist
Thank you, Satan," she said
