Oh tell me Father what's the craic Is Jesus really coming back And if he does d'ye think he'll live here in the 'burbs? Cos I'd like to help out round the place A few odd jobs for holy grace And I'll even let you preach your strange old words For I've been a godless fool They smashed it outta me at school And I swore I'd never take a knee again But if you can guarantee me there's A heaven up and a hell down there My wicked sinful ways I'll seek to mend But if all them stars above are saints in some accord And Les Darcy is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord I were spat on, I were beat And I were tossed into the street Where I lay cackling in the filthy bloody rain I went from bar to bar Callin' dogs just what they were Until the next one tried to slap me round the brains A bottle of cheap whisky was the key Unlocking beasts inside o' me That oughtn't see the the light of day I'd shower on all fours Go punch holes in all the doors And drag my heart around like it were dying prey But if all them stars above are saints in some accord And Les Darcy is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord Well I've heard him called so many things 'Hey-Sue Christy' 'King of Kings' Is it Mister Father, Son or Holy Ghost? He could turn the water into wine And we can have a laugh about the time He popped up on that old dears slice o' toast I've been around and seen some things Slept with witches, fought for Kings And I've sung a song o' joy in many lands But if my dog can't get to Heaven While some mongrels go on livin' I'm not sure he's got the whole world in his hands But if all them stars above are saints in some accord And Les Darcy is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord And if all them stars above are saints in some accord And Les Darcy is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord If [?] is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord If [?] is among 'em, then I'll make peace with the Lord If my granddad Bill is among 'em, then I'll make peace with your Lord