Strutting around in this lonesome town, he's got his own holiday
His pedals down in his old Trans Am that he turned into a sleigh 

He wears an earring made from candy canes, eats cookies straight from the pan 
So sit right back let's hear the tale of a man called Christmas Dan 

The kids hang swing-sets from his beard and use his belly as a trampoline 
And Dan knows every single word to the Chipmunks Family 

He finds all the lonely - lost snowballs and turns em into big snow men 
So sit right back let's hear the tale of a man called Christmas Dan 

(One Winter night, it snowed way, way too long) 
(But Dan dug out the entire town and decorated everybody's lawn) 

He's wading his way through the wrapping paper all the way up to his knees 
His hair looks just like shiny tinsel hanging from an old Christmas tree 

He can start a fire in your fireplace, just from a single wink 
And the only stocks he's worried about are hanging from his chimney 

Dan eats chocolate from the calendar, right before he falls to sleep 
And uses cinnamon as deodorant, and garland to floss his teeth 

He runs around the town caroling and shaking everybody's hands 
And now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan 
And now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan 
I said now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan