I don't remember the first time But I think I survived Probably better not to try to recall cause it feeds it, yea it keeps it alive There are specific things That I have to do Day to day just to keep it at bay You wouldn't believe it if you knew Oh no, this isn't real Here's a little secret Here's the best part This is gonna take me right back to the start If I can't hear it If it's out of mind Wait until it settles Comes around a second time I don't remember the first time But I think I survived Probably better not to try to recall cause it feeds it, yea it keeps it alive Oh no, this isn't real Here's a little secret Here's the best part This is gonna take me right back to the start If I can't hear it If it's out of mind Wait until it settles Comes around a second time I can feel it loom up into my head It is in the room Panicking in bed I feel it coming on Taking over view Oh please not tonight There's nothing I can do This is bigger than me This is in my fear This is pitiful I just disappear Swells up all around me Swallows up inside Sell my senses if it would make this subside I can barely handle I can pass the time Staring through the curtains up into the sky Where there is no depth perception Keep preoccupied: self deception Nobody recognises It doesn't have a name My brother is infected; he's acting just the same Screaming like a siren, up and down the hall He just wants to stop it He wants to end it all I am just a child I have nothing more than the basic function I am running from I curl up and wallow My distortion Everything is disproportion Suddenly I wake All is back again Everything is closer Morning is the same And I can't hear it; it's way out of mind I will just forget this till the next time