Ladies and Gentlemen...
The President of the United States! 
"Fella Americans...Doot, Doot, Doot..." 
He's been sick!--Doot! Doot! 
And I think his wife is gonna bring him 
Some chicken soap 
Plastic people! 
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag 

I know it's hard to defend an unpopular policy 
Every once in a while-- 

Plastic people! 
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag 

And there's this guy from the CIA he's creepin' 
Around Laurel Canyon 
A fine little girl She waits for me 
She's as plastic as she can be 
She paints her face With plastic goo 
And wrecks her hair With some shampoo 

Plastic people 
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag 

"I dunno...sometimes I just get tired 
Of ya honey--it's...ah..your 
Hair spray...or something..." 

Plastic people 
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag 

"I hear the sound of marching feet... 
Down Sunset Boulevard to Crescent Heights 
...and there...at Pandora's box... 
We are confronted with...a vast 
Quantity of...Plastic people..." 
Take a day and walk around 
Watch the Nazi's Run your town 
Then go home and check yourself 
You think we're singing 
'Bout someone else 

But you're Plastic people 
Oh, Baby, now 
You're such a drag 

Me see a neon Moon above 
I searched for years I found no love 
I'm sure that love Will never be 
A product of Plasticity 
A product of Plasticity 
PLASTIC, PLASTIC PEOPLE--PLA-HA-HA-HA 
HA-PLASTIC--You are--your foot--your hair 
--your nose--your arms--you suck--you love 
--you are--your being is--you're plastic--blah 
--blah--blah--blah plastic Peoples 
-A prune is not a vegetable 
--cabbage is a vegetable; makes it O.K. 
--plastic people--plastic People 
--you dream about...you think about...you eat 
...you are...Ooo-Hoo-Hoo... 
Purple prancing--plastic People- 
Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Peep!