It’s the 80’s and we’re feeling so fresh We’re yet to discover the Internet So masturbation is at an all time low You’re looking for a place to blow your load You meet a girl, and she likes your clothes You like her too and away you go You throw the bait, and she takes the hook Whoah pause the scene, let’s take a look Do you, or don’t you Don’t you, or do you Do you, or don’t you Use your head, when you go to bed C-O-O-N-D-O-M M is for mother, who told me a story Wear a Johnny Rubber or you’ll be sorry STI’s won’t make you fly Girls hate guys with syphilis Take little Graham he fell in love Too busy dreaming didn’t think enough But over time Jennys tummy grew Now he’s the talk of the town with a baby too Do you, or don’t you Don’t you, or do you Do you, or don’t you Use your head, when you go to bed I-M-P-L-A-N-T Love sock Love glove Willie-Warmer Robbers Rubber johnny Johnny bag Jimmie hatz Dobbers Something to remember as a rule of thumb One up the bum and there’s no harm done Love sock Love glove Willie-Warmer Robbers Rubber johnny Johnny bag Jimmie hatz Dobbers But something to remember as a rule of thumb One up the bum and you won’t be a mum C-O-O-N-T-R-A-C-E-P-T-I-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-N