"Papa did you see me hit a home run last night
I lit the stadium on fire
I was Oakland's pride"
"Daddy, did you see me?
Look what I can do, yeah"
"Daddy, do you hear me crying?
Crying
Daddy, can you see I'm dying?
Dying
Oh, Dad
Tell 'em José"
"Ever since little league
Middle school, middle league
Always played technically
Perfect like a symphony, little me
Got much bigger, faster, stronger, Dad
Hit it so long
But you always want it longer Dad"
"But therapy's for losers"
"Little boy"
"Therapy's for losers"
"Buy all my steroids in bulk"
"Costco"
"Wanna get big as the Hulk"
"Hogan"
"Stronger than wolverine teeth"
"Logan"
"Answer to, 'where's the beef'"
"Slogan"
"First, I put on my jock
Then both of my socks
Parachute hammer pants and my Reeboks
Hot tub inside a limousine at Chuck E Cheese
Dad, look at me"
"José, heard you went on a pretty hot date the other night. Care to tell us about it?"
"Hey, come on. You guys know I don't kiss and tell."
"Oh, I went on a date with Madonna
She said that she wanted Cuban babies
She seemed like a smart business lady
But I didn't find her physically attractive"
"I went on a date with my mama
Took her out for all-you-can-eat shrimp
She said she was proud of her baby
That's me
So, I guess we both had a wild week"
"Therapy's for losers
Dad said
Therapy's for losers
Keep your mouth shut"
"No snitchin'"
"About the steroids"
"No snitchin'"
"About the steroids"
"About the steroids"
"About the steroids
About the steroids"
"Don't fuck up a good thing while you got it"
