Suzy and Johnny were happy 
Earned enough to pay the rent 
But Johnny's mother-in-law had too much ambition 
And this made Johnny very upset 
So to keep his little mama satisfied 
He went and bought the weekly classified 
All for peace and quiet's sake 

Johnny gave up his position 
Just to please his mother-in-law 
So he left the job where he'd been all his life 
He left and turned his back on door

Now he's looking at the situations vacant 
Situations vacant 
Just to keep his little mama satisfied 
He went and bought the weekly classified 
All for peace and quiet's sake 

Then he had to leave the apartment 
And sought a less plush residence 
And poor Suzy and Johnny had to skimp and save 
Just to help to pay the weekly rent 

So to keep his little mama satisfied 
He went and bought the weekly classified 
All for peace and quiet's sake 

Johnny's got no money 
Got no where to go 
Johnny's in a great big hole 
Suzy's separated, living with her ma 
Now little mama's satisfied