He's been trying with limited success To get this girl to let him get into her dress But every time he thinks he's getting close She threatens death before he gets a chance And that's the way is in Minnesota That's the way is in Oklahoma That's the way it's been since protozoa First climbed onto the shores of California And she's been trying with limited success To get him to turn out the lights and dance 'Cause like any girl all she really wants Is that fickle little bitch romance, that fickle little bitch romance And that is why the girl is called a tease And that is why the guy is called a sleaze And that's why God made escort agencies One life to live and mace and GHB And that's the way it is in Minnesota That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa That's the way since the animals and Noah First climbed onto shores of California Must not be too kind Stop thinking love is blind Clench your fists, yeah, right She's just not my type Why all these conflicting specifications Maybe to prevent overpopulation All I know, is that all around the nation The girls are cryin' and the boys are masturbatin' The girls are cryin' and the boys are masturbatin' And that's the way it is in Minnesota That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa The way since Aristophanes and homer Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata That's the way it is in Minnesota That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa That's the way since the ancient protozoa First climbed onto the shores of California