Raise your glass We have incorporated Place your bets We're all so sick of waiting Queen takes jack You got me this time but I'll get you back So pick a number To all the ones who tried the most Was I supposed to cheer your efforts Sorry that I chose so poorly Golly gee am I the poster girl She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling Lift your hats Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs They'd make an angels skin crawl If you ask them for assistance There's an even chance You'll get a number To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient To all the ones that hated me the most a toast You really had me Going for a second I was nervous Boy am I the poster girl She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess Who was mine in Ninety-nine I want last names and current status To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second I was nervous boy am I the poster girl For some suburban sickness Better keep a healthy distance Now its up to you know what to do It's pretty dirty business