'twere back in the year of 1986 I courted a maid from the wild wild west She took I to a place where Cyder's always ace Return to Turbo Island We'll raise the main sail We'll battle the gale We're all going to hell As we return to Turbo Island Our ship, oh she be, a-rockin' on the sea Our bosun be a-prayin' to the lord My babby makes a plea, oh won't you marry me As we return to Turbo Island We'll raise the main sail We'll battle the gale We're all going to hell As we return to Turbo Island You won't find Turbo Island on any kind of a map They said once thee's left that place there's no way to go back We searched 'round Stoke's Croft Point, and off the old bear pit And now that we've found the place, we'll drink like lunatics We'll raise the main sail We'll battle the gale We're all going to hell As we return to Turbo Island We'll raise the main sail We'll battle the gale We're all going to hell As we return to Turbo Island We'll raise the main sail We'll battle the gale We're all going to hell As we return to Turbo Island As we return to Turbo Island As we return to Turbo Island