When you're feeling sad and blue
When it's like the whole world hates you
Strap on your dancing shoes
The country pub awaits you
Buy a beer for all your friends
Your enemies as well
Turn that frown right upside down
At the Grand Union Hotel

Vera thinks she's Fred Astaire
And Jim is falling over
Mary's arguing with a chair
And Jerry's also falling over
He's trying to make it to the bar
And it's not going well
But there's a smile on every face
At the Grand Union Hotel