Norman and Norma
Got married in Cromer
April 1983
It could've been warmer
But Norman and Norma
Were happy as they'd ever been
They flew to Mallorca
And swam in the water
It felt just like having a bath
The piña coladas
Hit Norma harder
And she fell into bed with a laugh
And she said

Oh, Norman
It's never ever felt like this before
And oh, Norman
I've never really known your kiss before
Oh no, Norman, Norman

Norman and Norma
Had three lovely daughters
Nadia, Nora and Eve
The firm Norma worked at
Wouldn't take her back
After maternity leave
They dreamt of Mallorca
But couldn't afford to go
On Norman's salary
So they went to Cromer
Got double pneumonia
And Norma remember when
She used to say

Oh, Norman
It's never ever felt like this before
And oh, Norman
I've never really known your kiss before
Oh no, Norman, Norman

20 years on and
The children have gone and
They both had a bit of a loss
They've tried salsa classes
And growing tomatoes
But nothing is getting them off
Then one day in Clacton
There's a re-enactment
Of Normans and Saxons and this
Gets their juices flowing
Before long they're going
And fighting like it's 1066
And she says

Oh, Norman
It's never ever felt like this before
And oh, Norman
I've never really known your kiss before
Oh no, Norman
Oh no, Norman, yeah

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Norman
It's never really felt like this before
And no, Norman, Norman (Norman)