Well, I was ridin' down that highway just a-tryin' ninety-nine
I had a place I needed to be and I had to be on time
Cars, they started slowin' down, slowin' down in lines
People just kept honkin', honk, honk for miles
Stared out the window just as far as I could see
I saw a whole lot of nothin' and I sat back comfortably
'Bout the time she rolled that window down was the time it all went wrong
I swear to you, Lord, I'm 'bout to pull this damn wheel off
All I could hear was honk, honk, honk
Hot darn, I need some tonk, tonk, tonk
Well now, hey buddy, what's wrong with you?
I got them less honkin' more tonkin' blues
Now if you're runnin' down that highway and you're thinkin' ninety-nine
If you're late, be late, unless you're dead, just take your time
All you got to do, bud, is lay off that horn
Make me stop regrettin' that old day I's got born
Well now, hey darlin', what's wrong with you?
I got them less honkin' more tonkin' blues
