Let me tell you a story It's one you've probably heard before But on the night, I met your mother She was the best I could afford 'Cuz daddy loves to go drinking And daddy loves to fight And daddy had a real good time At the Rock-A-Billy show last night Let me tell you a story It's one you're not gonna like It's about the time your mother fell Off the back of my bike Daddy loves to go drinking And daddy loves to dance And daddy had to walk six blocks home Without a pair of pants When daddy drinks the sun comes up And love is all around When daddy drinks mommy shuts up And the baby doesn't make a sound When daddy drinks the clouds are white And you know the skies are blue When daddy drinks everything's alright And the rent is never due Daddy loves his liquor From a bottle, a can, or a glass And daddy loves to do lines of coke Off of Vlad Putin's ass So here's another little story A tale of woe and gloom It's about the time your mother and I Took a trip to the emergency room 'Cuz daddy loves to go drinking And daddy loves to fight And daddy loves to tell the neighborhood How proud he is to be white Son, I tell you these stories 'Cuz that's just who I am Last night your mother ran off With a bunch of Haitian men When daddy drinks he's a true artist Yes, he's the next Gauguin When daddy drinks he can make a fist And he can take a stand When daddy drinks the world's his toy It's there for his enjoyment When daddy drinks there are no words Like "Bail" or "Unemployment" When daddy drinks the Iggles win And you know that the Cowboys lose When daddy drinks stop signs don't count You can do what the hell you choose When daddy drinks the sun comes up And love is all around When daddy drinks mommy shuts up And the baby doesn't make a sound When daddy drinks his eyes light up And he is never bored 'Cus sometimes all a workin' man has Is a six pack of Coors