Happy Talkin Captains' tutu's too tight 
Means there'll be no more snookering you tonight 
P just looks bemused to be on foreign Shores - 
AH HA There ain't no Sanity Clause (4x) 
[Chorus] 

Vanians got a visit from a guy named Drac 
Says he's from the bloodbank wants his 10 pints back 
Singers rather sickly when it rains it pours - 
Oh no, there ain't no Sanity Clause (4x) 
[Chorus] 

Did you expect that I would believe 
the tale you told last Xmas eve 
About the man that man is fat and round 
Delivers gifts without a sound 

[Solo] 

[Chorus] 

Monty Oxy Moron's Mozart on natural gas 
Always playing symphonies out of his ass 
Pinch's about to get tied up with Las Vegas laws, 
Oh No, there ain't no Sanity Clause 

Ho Ho Ho etc