Well, I’ve been a Sunday driver noo for many’s a happy year And I’ve never had my Morris Minor oot o' second gear I can drive at 15 miles an hour on motorway or track Wi' my wife up front beside me and her mother in the back There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Jean In a crowd of fifty trippers, you can always pick me oot For my “Don’t blame me, I voted Tory” sticker on the boot With my bunch of heather stickin’ in my radiator grill And my stick-on transfer bullet holes and license for to kill There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Peg I’ve a hundred plastic penants for to tell you where I’ve been And my steering wheel is clad in simulated leopard skin Up front from the driving mirror hangs a plastic skeleton And in the back a dog with eyes that flicker off and on There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Mae Always drive as though my foot was resting on the brake And I weave aboot the road just so you canna over take I can get you sae frustrated that you’ll finish up in tears And the sound of blaring motor horns is music to my ears There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Liz Roy Williamson : Loze ... Liz Ronnie Brown : she comes next Roy Williamson : Oh, she comes next Now, if you wonder how these weekly trips I can afford It’s because I’m on a stipend from the Scottish Tourist Board You’re supposed to enjoy the scenery, the finest o' it’s kind And that is why you have convoy following behind There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Rose There's just no way of escaping me, no matter how you seek For the simple fact's that I'm a traffic warden through the week I'm boosting my efficency, and here's my master plan I'm saving up my pennies for to buy a caravan There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums and Auntie Gertrude There was me and my daddy and my daddy’s mammy And her sister’s granny and four of her chums ... You’re gaun too fast!