3000 miles is a long way to go To be beaten by a dwarf in Mexico He was an aged cheat who didn't give a damn Couldn't use his head so used his hand They forgave the blind old sod And Maradona claimed it was the Hand of God So out of the Cup but what you expect From a poxy little country and a circus reject? Argy-bargy Hanky-panky Naughty, naughty Handball The British boys in the Mexico sun Stood their ground a And Hare Duke on the run Same old story you always start You not got the bottle and you ain't got a heart And we're the English and we play it fair We lost the Cup but we don't care Everyone knows the final score But who won the Falklands War Two or one, a final score Now on to the Falklands War