Monday morning, I woke up late I feel like shit and I can't see straight One last drink was a bad idea I’m on the bowl with diarrhea Out the door in a fog Barked at by the neighbor’s dog Forgot my keys, I went back inside I got a flat so I can't ride The phone rings aw jeez now what? I am an idiot so I pick it up (hello?) Now I’m held up on my line My cretin landlord he's wasting my time He wants his money or we go to trial He's got penis envy denial Another weekend I didn't get laid it's a Monday morning ant brigade Another weekend I didn't get paid it's a Monday morning ant brigade Fuck it all, no regrets I’m staying in and you can bet It sucks outside in the pouring rain I'll smoke some pot and fry my brain Thom cut the record down to the bone I'm the sure shot rocking the microphone Another weekend I didn't get laid it's a Monday morning ant brigade I've got the Monday mornings