Woman goes to heaven, it's not important when
 'Cause as soon as she arrives God has to send her down again
 'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men'
 'I mean no disrespect God, but you better make it ten'

 Well if heaven's an improvement I won't mind the extra squeeze
 I've got a few more birds down there God, after losing bees
 Trying to lose their bees

 So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
 A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
 No time for lively discussion
 No time for televised debates
 The well-meaning soon become the well meant
 It's the hard sell or hell at the gates

 Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates
 I've only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates
 Any tab you used to have's been passed to so called mates
 And after they've paid-up they're off to the land of empty crates

 Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full
 So do us all a favour God and give that thing a pull
 Give that thing a pull

 So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
 A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
 No time for lively discussion
 No time for televised debates
 The well-meaning soon become the well meant
 It's the hard sell or hell at the gates

 Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right
 If you're gonna look cool in heaven wear something more than white
 Vanity's close to arrogance, just slightly more polite
 Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height

 So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
 A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
 No time for lively discussion
 No time for televised debates
 The well-meaning soon become the well meant
 It's the hard sell or hell at the gates