I'm a real guy I like real guy things
Like boats and guns and onion rings
But household chores need a power resolution
I went to the store and purchased the solution

I got a pressure washer. I like it a lot
'Cause it makes cleaning destructive

Now I blow away the dirt and obliterate the muck
I pressure wash my fence and my couch and my truck
Nothing's dirty in the house though things are a little damp

My cat's clean now even though it's bald
It's fur is in a corner of my neighbour's yard
I've got a new kid but diapers aren't a problem
I pressure washed his butt he'll never pee on me again

I got a pressure washer (He likes it a lot)
I got a pressure washer (He cleaned up the tot)

Sure I may be squirting water but in my head
I'm a sergeant with a flamethrower spewing out death
I've got 2000 psi of awesome killing force

Look out commies, here comes Mike Rambo
With his 50 mm pressure washer. Look at him go
Jehovah's witnesses come and shake my hand
I pressure washed their literature and not they understand
I got a pressure washer

One day I was out pressure washing my lawn
My neighbour came home with a big smile on
He pulled out a brand new
Gas powered
Turbo charged
90 gauge
Super mega mega mega washer
With a DVD drive

Damn IT!

I need a bigger pressure washer (he needs a bigger pressure washer) (2x)
I need a bigger pressure washer (3x)
Or maybe a hummer