Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and Alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But Malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all 'Cause Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw And he never has the same problem twice Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate Awful TV programs or a broken ELvis plate Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight Aaaaggghhh Aaaaggghhh Problem solved