The blim holes in my shell suit Joined into an absolute And fell apart one day They stitched me up in Everton Then they took me to a surgeon Lost on penalties Mario man Mario man Mario man Mario man I married at the altar The village idiots daughter Oh, lucky me We honeymooned in Cyprus That's where she caught the virus I flew home alone So I bought myself a chip pan And I sailed it to the Isle of Man For a holiday Struggling in a vortex With my jacket made of Gore-tex It fits wonderfully Mario man Mario man Mario man Mario man Zap, zap Wham, wham Says the Mario man today (He's played so hard, he's got blisters on his fingers) Mario man Mario man Mario man Mario man