Life is just a bowl of cherries I'm not gonna sing that song I hope you don't like it too much! Napoleon's a pastry Bismarck is a herring Alexander's a crème de cacao mixed with rum Herbie Hoover is a vacuum Columbus is a circle and a day off Pershing is a square, what a pay-off Julius Caesar is now a salad on a shelf So, little brother, get wise to yourself Life's a bowl and it's full of cherry pits Play it big and it throws you for a loop That's the way with fate Comes today, we're great Comes tomorrow, we're tomato soup Napoleon's a pastry Get this under your brow What once used to be a rooster Is just a duster now DuBarry is a lipstick Pompadour's a hairdo Good Queen Mary just floats along from pier to pier Venus De Milo is a pink brassiere Sir Gladstone is a bag, ain't it shocking? And the mighty Kaiser, just a stocking The Czar of Russia is now a jar of caviar Even Cleopatra is a black cigar Oh yes, my honey lamb, Swift is just a ham Lincoln's a tunnel, Coolidge is a dam Yes, my noble lads Comes today, we're fads Comes tomorrow, we're all subway ads Homer is a swat King George, a you know what Get this under your brow All these big-wheel controversials Are just commercials now Life is just a bowl of cherries Better get your jug of wine And loaf of love Before that final vow