When I was young I studied hard and thirsted after knowledge And often burned the midnight oil so I could get to college They told me my fine education Would help improve my situation So then I crammed and crammed 'til I was almost in a coma And thesised and examed until I got me a diploma "Ah-hah," they said Now comes admission Into a very high position Out I went and looked around And Macy's is the place I found I filled my blanks and application And went for my examination They took my weight and took my height And tapped my chest and tested my sight Examined my head, took prints of my toes Looked at my teeth and up my nose Examined my throat and measured my hips And even took prints of my fingertips They made me say "Ah" and told me to grunt Examined my back, examined my front Then they tested my "I.Q." And asked me what I'd like to do And when that exam was through What there was to know, Macy's knew! So I got the job Life is a bitter cup of tea Now I'm just salesgirl seventy-three I used to be on the daisy chain Now I'm a chain-store daisy Once they gave me the honor seat Now I stand up with pains in my feet I used to be on the daisy chain Now shoppers drive me crazy I sell smart but thrifty Corsets at three-fifty Better grade four sixty-nine I sell bras and girdles For Mauds and Myrtles To hold in their plump Behind this counter Once I wrote poems, put folks in tears Now I write checks for ladies' brassieres I used to be on the daisy chain Now I'm a chain-store daisy Oh, yes, Madam. Oh, no, Madam I guess, Madam. That's so, Madam Of course, Madam. That's the very best Exactly the kind that's worn by Mae West For you, Madam, we do, Madam That's true, Madam. In blue, Madam That one is nineteen seventy-four It ought to be expensive It's the largest in the store Once I had a yearning For all higher learning Studied 'til I made the grade I pursued my knowledge And finished college Well, look at the kind of grade I made I'm now selling things to fit to the figure Make the big things small And the small things bigger! I used to be on the daisy chain Now I'm a chain-store daisy