I call you from the car to say ill be there in a while A short plane ride and i will get to see your pretty smile Theres nothing on the radio- I fiddle with the dial Then i see a sign- the airports just another mile I check my bags and think about how much i hate to fly And as I near security I almost start to cry Well i hope that law enforcement agents cant tell from my face Ive got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place Im sweating and im nervous and i need a little air cause with 4 balloons of heroin its getting crowded up in there crowded up in there My mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise Relax, I say, its not so bad- it might feel kinda nice Besides, who hasnt had a finger up there ince or twice? I must remember dont leave any drugs inside the host I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed Well I say a little prayer- Hail Maria, Full of Grace Ive got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place Im sweating and im nervous and i need a little air And i swear im farting lines of blow into my underwear from my derriere I was a little eager when i loaded up my stash 5 balloons of ecstasy, 6 balloons of hash 8 balloons of L.S.D, 9 of sensi mild A box of chinese fireworks- a Guatemalan Child Ive made it to the gate now and my joy i cant contain I board the aircraft; take my seat in the cockpit of the plane As i taxi down the runway, i get a smile on my face Ive got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place Flight crew prepare for takeoff as i lift us into air And by the way, does anyone want to buy a Guatemalan child? From my derriere