[Brian:] I move diagonally across the screen
I avoid all objects which are not green
I jump on the squares to change their color
I'm rich as hell but I live in squalor

I'm Q*bert
I'm Q*bert motherf*@!?
I'm Q*bert
I'm Q*bert you piece of sh*@!?

There's a purple snake that tries to test me
I got home last night and my wife had left me
Two bottles of whiskey and twelve bong rips later
I'm ready to explode like a f*@!? detonator

I'm Q*bert
I'm Q*bert you f*@!? piece of sh*@!?
I'm Q*bert *@!?er

I might be orange but I feel scarlet with rage
I'm a wild f*@!?ng animal and I'm trapped in a cage
I can't move just left right up or down
You better f*@!?ng pray I never come to your sh*@!?thole town

Cause when I get drunk I'm nearly unstoppable
I'll make you feel pain deeper than you ever thought possible
I'm fueled by self-loathing, disappointment, and trauma
Break into your stepfather's house and
*@!?*@!?*@!?*@!?

I'm Q*bert
I'm Q*bert motherf*@!?
I'm Q*bert
I'm Q*bert motherf*@!?

If we shadows have offended
Think but this, and all is mended
That you have but slumbered here
And I'm gonna f*@!?*@!?*@!?*@!?

FUCK