Chop, chop, chop
The demise of Planet X
Fucking bummers!
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
I followed her upstairs
Said a few nice words to her
Then dragged her into what looked to be a stockroom
Situated next to the girls' toilets
I picked her up
And placed her on top of two crates of champagne
Unbuttoned her dress
And got down to some real Southampton
She said she couldn't give up on old habits
Meaning me, which I thought was sweet
But the last time I got off with her was about ten years ago
You need to get out of it more, darling
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
I asked the porn star if he was still doing films, he said yeah
And if I was interested in raping young girls on a fortnightly basis
Then I should send him a few naked photos to his email address
Sadtwat@sadtwat.cunt.cuntuk
So I went into the loo, got my phone out
And took a picture of the large shit falling out of my hairy fucking arse
I wiped my arse
And sprinkled the last few crumbs of stone into a roll up
I walked up to the [?], lit it up
What's he gonna fucking do?
Fucking beetroot head!
I walked back into the club, few knobs
I seen the porn star dancing, I walked up to him
I slammed my phone right in his face
"Here's the fucking photograph you wanted, ya fucking rapist!"
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
She insists I go meet her family for Christmas
At some crap twenty first in some shit club
So I went - it was terrible
Bunch of thick bastards eating cheap party food
She's bantin' around, flirting with everybody
Jigging her knobbly knees to Jay-Z and Beyonce
Disgusting fucking behavior!
I gotta drive
I make times over the fucking limit (Nee naw, nee naw!)
I'm having to buy her dad drinks - that pissed me off
I bumped into some piece of wood at the bar
Boring me shitless
With news that he works as a personal trainer
His ugly fucking mate stood there, grinning at me
If there's one thing I regret about that night
It's missing the opportunity at filling that cunt's fucking face in
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
Skip... I got him. I need you to come pick me up, alright? I got bit by a fuckin' diseased dog, goddamnit!
I pick her up, she's got a kid
She sits in the front with her kid
The coppers stop us, I can't be arsed with it
We pick her kiddie chair up from her ex-husband's
He piles outside the house, screaming
Scabs all over his fucking face
I can't be arsed with it
I put the kid in the back, tell it to fucking stop crying
I put some hip hop on, the kid stops crying - weird
We drive, meet the geezer
He's horrible, horrible and hungry
We have to go to McDonald's
I waste half my burger 'cause his breath fucking stinks
He got rumbled two nights ago
So we have to drive an extra ten miles to [?]
I drop him off, do a U turn
Wait five minutes and drive back
He's lost half of it
I do another U turn
He's doing his nut, I want to hit the cunt
He gets out, he finds it, the kid's screaming
Eight ounces of flat crack
A fucking lorry's driven over it
This is fucking unbelievable!
We drive, we stop
Chop, chop, chop
A mini orgy in the back of the car, the kid's screaming
Five different pairs of hands inside the bitch's bra
Bitches' Brew... bitch's bra, why not?
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
The north won't let me go
Fucking north won't let me go, oi!
The north won't let me go, one on!
The north won't let me go
People, places, parties
People, places, parties
You don't wanna get me started
People, places, parties
Yeah!
