It's Christmas time and Santa's here, Making the children smile But he's just a pedophile So you better watch your child. Christmas trees in every house Covered in shiny lights But they just turn brown and die, Or set your whole house on fire These are the reasons I hate the season, but I'm a give it a try. Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday. Replace my heart ache and my pain, With mistletoe and candy canes This Christmas, could go my way. Having fun with all your friends, Sipping on that eggnog, But it just looks like jizz All over your upper lips. House made out of ginger bread Cookies like Christmas trees Giving ya heart disease And type 2 diabetes. (Type 2 diabetes) These are the reasons I hate the season, but I'm a give it a try. Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday. Replace my heart ache and my pain, With mistletoe and candy canes This Christmas, could go my way. I've never seen reindeer fly I've never heard the sleigh bells ring I've never seen a snowman come to life I've never heard the angels sing But I hope, and I pray That maybe this Christmas day That'll change. Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday. Replace my heart ache and my pain, With mistletoe and candy canes This Christmas, could go my way... Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas Maybe I'll have a happy holiday. Replace my heart ache and my pain, Let's just dance the night away. This Christmas, is going my way. Just dance with me.