Hi my name is Shane Dawson.
I'm a famous YouTuber with lots of fans and lots of money and both of those things make me very happy, honest.
If you want to be a famous YouTuber like me just follow these steps.
Here we go...

If you want to be a famous YouTube star, I've got lots of tips.
If you want to be a famous YouTube star, just listen to this.

Go to college for filmmaking.
Take a class on creative writing.
Don't forget your business master degree. 
Ha-ha! Just kidding!

Cause all you need is to Facetune all your selfies.
(Look like a cartoon)
And act like you're eighteen, even though your really thirty-three.
(Crow's feet)
And make lots of money selling nearly everything because one day, you'll be nothing.

If you want to be a famous YouTube star, exploit your relationships.
(Babe, get over here!)
Make sure all your video thumb nails are you and the girl you're with.
And even if you're fighting everyday pretend like your love life is going great.
Tag all your pics with hashtag relationship goals.
I think we should break up.
Okay!...

I'll get a million views on our break-up vid. (Oh, I'm so sad)
I wish I had some kids so I could force them to do challenges.
(EAT IT!)
I want a health crisis so I can vlog the recovery process.
OH NO I'm DYING?!
Just kidding... only on the inside.

Oohhh weoooh
Refresh your social media page all day and all night.
Oohhh weoooh
You never ever have to go ever outside.
Oohhh weoooh
I haven't showered for like 30 days.
Oohhh weoooh
It doesn't matter 'cause everyone that cares about me is behind a screen.

Hi friends.
Hi, Shane!
Without you guys I'd be literally nothing.

Ahh! Oh No!
Well, I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.
Good thing I prepared for this.
Wow! That was close. Ha-Ha!

Make sure that all your Tweets are about all your business meetings.
I'm actually just going to Chipotle!
Vlog your entire day, even when you're out driving.
And last but not least make sure you have a plan 'B' for your life 'cause soon no one will be watching.
Nope!
No one will be watching.

Ha - Ha - Ha! Well there you guys go, hope you enjoyed the tips and make sure to hit that like button.
Cause every like is another day that I don't guzzle down this bleach and cause a slow, painful death. Ha - Ha - Ha - Ha! Bye...