My girlfriend got into my car
Told me to listen to her new CD
"What the fuck are you smokin'?
Do I look fourteen?"
"No, trust me it's so great
I'm totally hashtag team taytay
Com'on just give it a play!"
Later on I dropped her off
She forgot her new Taylor CD
So I decided to put it on
"What's the worst that could happen?
Oh my God, what a sick beat,
Her voice sounds so soft and sweet
All these lyrics are relating to me!
I could listen to this until my life ends!"
So I'm listen while I'm lifting
She gives me energy
And I listen in the shower
When I'm making love to me
I listen when I'm hurtin'
Her ballads are everything
It's like I'm never lonely
Like she's my best friend
She's always tweetin'
Inspirational quotes
And then I read them
At the time I need them most
I think about her when I'm
Having sex with my girlfriend
"Because she is my soul mate"
"What?"
I gotta make a plan.
First I have to get rid of
My current girlfriend
I have to make it look like
It was an accident like:
"Hey Lisa, get in here quick
Your dog is barfing,
I think it's sick
Oh no, there is so much blood!"
Now I don't have a girlfriend
"Hey Taylor here I come
I got your address
Thanks to Google maps.com
I've got your favorite flowers
A tattoo of your name
I hope you feel the same baby
Cause I'm on my way
Oh, you look so cute up in your bedroom
Oh, I can't wait to be up there with you soon
"Hey sir, who are you? Can I help you?"
"Sure, smell these flowers, don't you think they smell good?!"
Now I'm walking through the front door
I think I smell her scent
Now checking the nick nacks
We both like titanic
And then I hear a loud scream
I turn around and see
It's my beautiful Taylor
"Taylor it's me!"
Then she runs away screaming
"L.O.L. she's so funny"
She locked herself in the bathroom
"I guess we're playing hide and seek"
"Oh silly Taylor baby
I can hear you breath
Hey remember your hit song?
You belong with me!"
Then she runs to the bedroom
"She's playing hard to get
I get distracted by the closet
She looks so pretty in red
"Hey taytay can you wear this,
The first time we make love?
Just give me a kiss baby
You'll feel the same"
I guess I was all wrong
Maybe we're not soul mates
I misread the situation
I have another destiny
I'm not supposed be with her
I'm supposed to be her
But I can't be her
So I'll just wear her face!
