My girlfriend got into my car Told me to listen to her new CD What the fuck are you smoking? Do I look 14? No trust me, it's so great I'm totally hashtag team Tay Tay Come on just give it a play Later on I dropped her off She left her new Taylor CD So I decide to put it on What's the worst that could happen? Oh my God! What a sick beat? Her voice sounds so Soft and sweet All these lyrics are relating to me I could listen to this till my life ends So I listen while I'm lifting She gives me energy And I listen in the shower When I'm making love to me I listen when I'm hurting Her ballads are everything It's like I'm never lonely Like she's my best friend! She's always tweeting Inspirational quotes And then I read them At the time when I need them most I think about her When I'm having sex with my girlfriend Because she is my soulmate What? I gotta make a plan First I have to get rid of My current girlfriend I have to make it look like it Was an accident, like Hey Lisa, get in here quick Your dog is barfing I think it's sick Oh no there is so much blood Now I don't have a girlfriend Hey Taylor, here I come I got your address Thanks to google maps dot com I got your favourite flowers A tattoo of your name I hope you feel the same baby 'Cause I'm on my way Oh you look so cute up in your bedroom Oh I can't wait to be up there with you soon Hey sir, who are you? Can I help you? Sure, smell these flowers don't you think they smell good Now I'm opening up the front door I think I smell her scent Now I'm checking out her knick-knacks We both like Titanic And then I hear a loud scream I turn around and see It's my beautiful Taylor Tay-lor it's me! Then she runs away screaming L O L she's so funny She locks herself in her bathroom Guess we're playing hide and seek Oh silly Taylor baby I can hear you breathe Hey remember your hit song You belong with me! So she runs into the bedroom She's playing hard to get I get distracted by the closet She looks so pretty in red Hey Tay Tay can you wear this The first time we make love? Just give me a kiss, baby You'll feel the same Huh ... I didn't feel a connection, did you? Nooooo! Hah! What? Weird! 'Cause I was thinking I was, I was thinking we were gonna ... You know, but ... Huh Just one more thing. I guess I was all wrong Maybe we're not soulmates I misread the situation I had another destiny I'm not supposed to be with her I'm supposed to be her But I can't be her So I'll just wear her face!