I used to want to die but now I believe Not in a distant god, there's a love I found in me I’d rather be awake and in pain than asleep Singing as if no one can hear takes more courage than you think I carried the weight in the only way I knew I carried the weight in the only way I knew I was scared enough to lie and say that I’m okay When inside I was dying, so confused, so alone, so afraid I hope you never know what it’s like to hide a piece of yourself inside Or to be so fucking ashamed you’d rather kill yourself than be alive I want to be alive I carried the weight in the only way I knew I want to be alive I carried the weight in the only way I knew I'm still scared but I’ve got courage to be More vulnerable and one day free Now my heart isn’t covered in concrete I breathe, I breathe No longer scared of the vulnerability No longer scared of the person that I see