Cool and collected, and I mean it this time!

You botched her nut a jillion times
Now she's gonna get herself off
It may require an army of balls

Lined up by height, styles to your right
Shot up in the stall with Sodium Pentothal
Bend over, drop trou and cough
Tonight, she's gonna get herself off

You fucked her days in a billion ways
She's gonna get herself off
Chuckled Max, my wife has a crush!
Like on- like on me? Well, that's uncomfortable

Puking off the side of a cruise ship ride
Being dumped three times, daily grind
Confused to see you don't cheat on a DuPree
Now she's gonna get herself off on me

She shudders like an earthquake (I'm gonna get myself off)
This jew is finna vibrate (I'm gonna get myself off)
Enraptured by her milkshake (I'm gonna get myself off)
I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough (get myself off)
To help her get herself off

A boy does what he must versus withering trust
That's the thin red line that couldn't make her bust
Sick of rutting in the depths of your rut

When I was 16, having barely started a band
She received Chris Martin's kiss on her hand
All of you stanned the man with the gland
Now welcome to the clan

She shudders like an earthquake (I'm gonna get myself off)
This jew is finna vibrate (I'm gonna get myself off)
Enraptured by her milkshake (I'm gonna get myself off)
I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough (get myself off)
To help her get herself off

Can't floss, awash in its sauce
She's gonna get herself off
Youse a bitch, youse a bitch awash in your itch
Now she's gonna get herself off

Like the nation of dads that bruised her sad
She's gonna get herself off
You confused date rape for dinner and a date
Well, fuck you
Now she's getting herself off

She shudders like an earthquake (I'm gonna get myself off)
This jew is finna vibrate (I'm gonna get myself off)
Enraptured by her milkshake (I'm gonna get myself off)
I'm the luckiest vibrator in the trough (get myself off)
To help her get herself off...

She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off
She's gonna get herself off

I'm gonna get myself off
I'm gonna get myself off
I'm gonna get myself off
I'm gonna get myself off
I'm gonna get myself off