Threw us together in a motel room
Promised we'd be famous soon
Made his money off a basement zoo
Saw the Spice Girls set I can pick girls too

Bob Cratchit hours, thousand crunches a day
Said a steak night to whoever lands Carson Daly
We were top 40 and living out our dreams
He got a Porsche, we got a Camel Cash per diem
After our shows, he took a bow
Drove us by his high school
Yelled, who's bad at football now?

But we're finally at the wheel
You can take the bus
'Cause everything we do belongs to us

Leaving the stage, we hear through a cough
Looks like talent took the day off
Only let us eat crab 'cause you can't get fat
From food that's so damn hard to get at

Sketchy financials, 98% commission
Our tour was only through countries with no extradition
20 years later we can still hear him say
You work like dogs, the kind that sleep all day

But now we're at the wheel
You can take the bus
'Cause everything we do belongs to us
'Cause everything we do belongs to us